Each decade of our lives comes with different challenges. Somehow 20s feel the most confusing and overwhelming. Those are the years that we and society put so much on our shoulders. It feels like all of the decisions we make in our 20s will be crucial for how the rest of our lives will look. While that is true in some sense, life is not that simple.
The 20s are a time when we are starting to feel like adults and taking our lives from our parents to our own hands. There is so much we want to do and so many people we want to prove that we know what we are doing. Of course, life is not black and white, so we make mistakes and feel like we are not doing it right.
I’m in my late 20s, and here are some mistakes I wish I didn’t, as my life would be way less stressful.
Mistake 1: Making major life decisions based on fear
When you step out of high school and need to make that big decision of whether you are going to university or if you are going to start working, sometimes we tend to choose out of fear. In that moment, it feels like this decision can’t be changed, and what you decide determines the rest of your life. You have a certain dream and career you envision for yourself, but the fear of failure and the unknown makes you doubt everything.
We hear those older than us saying to focus on what will bring you the most money and stability and not so much about what you enjoy and want to do. Of course, money is important, but waking up and doing something you don’t feel called to for the rest of your life doesn’t sound that good. Sometimes we forget that there is always an unconventional way to do what we love and still make a living.
My advice would be to understand the importance of making informed decisions based on personal values and goals. Just because someone else is making it look like they know what is best for you, at the end of the day you are the one in control of your own life. It is better to try and fail than to regret not trying at all. The 20s are the perfect years to experiment and reflect on what YOU want.
Mistake 2: Assuming a predetermined future
I can’t even count how many times I was so sure of myself and stubborn about where I’d live and what I’d do after I graduated. Oh, how those plans didn’t go through, and how happy I am now that they didn’t. Unfortunately, I know a lot of people who had imagined their lives to be completely different than they turned out. Most of them rejected opportunities just because they didn’t fit well with what they had in mind at that time.
There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Why stick with the major you once thought you would love and realize that it is not something you enjoy and start a new one? Why work at a place you don’t think you will be able to grow and improve just because it feels safe? Most of those in their 20s don’t have their own family or someone depending on them. This is why it should be easier to not always follow the traditional path.
Mistake 3: Comparing yourself to others
Social media made it easier than ever before to compare ourselves with our peers. It’s not strange that, when we see people buy their first property in their early 20s, start a profitable business, travel the world, and achieve so much so young, we compare them to where we currently are. It is easy to get in our heads and feel like we are not doing enough and that we will never live the life we always dreamed about.
What our brain refuses to let us know is that we only know a glimpse of the lives of the people we follow, and comparing our lives to theirs is never going to make sense. Having the same age as someone doesn’t mean anything, as there is much more to each person and their story that we cannot see. Having role models and people that we look up to is good until it steps across that boundary and turns into a toxic comparison.
What we should focus on is the importance of self-acceptance and focusing on personal growth.
When you start to get closer to your 30s, you will be able to see how many of the things you were worried about then — you don’t even think twice about it now. Each decade brings its own hardships, but at the end of it all, it is the approach you have to both positive and negative things in life that will determine your path. The 20s are the perfect years to embrace the challenges and opportunities, as you never know where they will take you. Even if you make a mistake, there is always time to learn from it and start over.
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