Getting from a High School that was just 45 minutes away from my home by bus to moving to the big city that is 80 kilometers away and living there for 5 days a week was quite a big change. Moving from home when I was 18 years old and heading to a completely different surrounding shaped me as a person. I have been living in the city for 3 years now and it is still crazy for me to look back at all the things that happened and how they affected me.
RELAYING ON MYSELF
When I moved to the city because of my university, I did have the help of my older sister but there were things that I had to do on my own. Dealing with new situations and people made me realize that there is not the same situation or persona that I will get across. I needed to build social skills that while I was living at the countryside I didn’t necessarily need. Knowing how to react when someone is being rude or acknowledging when someone is being sarcastic is something that I could only learn while interacting with others.
I slowly started to read people and situations before anything even happened. That helped me not to get into any unnecessary negative situations. Whenever I needed to take some things done I knew that there is nobody else who could or even should do that instead of me. I didn’t put my accountability on someone else yet I got things done on my own even if they made me nervous.
NOT TAKING EVERYTHING PERSONAL
I am very emotional and I can’t hide them very well. When I was younger my self-confidence was shaken because I was bullied in school. Although I was always very positive and cheerful around people I trust and situations I feel comfortable in that wasn’t the case with unfamiliar people and situations. It took me quite a lot to realize that not everyone is trying to mock you or make you feel bad. We are all different and so is the way that we talk and act.
After moving away and getting across a lot more people than I used to, I started to notice different patterns. I started to realize when someone is trying to put someone down or if that someone just has something negative about them. I would just stay away from those kind of people and even if they say something mean to me I knew that the problem wasn’t in me and that I don’t need to take it personal.
BEING ALONE BUT NOT LONELY
Although for the first two years I lived with my sister in a dorm room there were times when I was completely alone. For example sometimes if I stayed in the city throughout the weekend and my sister went home I would be alone. To be completely honest, first few times it wasn’t that easy as I was alone in a place I didn’t yet called home. After few times I realize that I actually enjoy my time alone. The fact that I’m more of an introvert definitely helped. I didn’t think negatively about staying all by myself yet I tried to find things I can do to make that time the best I can.
Living in a big city also means a lot of people everywhere. Going anywhere on my own in the big city seemed so scary and I tried to avoid it as much as I could. Of course that there were times when I didn’t have another option yet to go on my own. Sometimes it can get overwhelming to walk in a big crowd all by yourself. Realizing that although I’m alone it doesn’t mean that it’s something that necessarily puts me to disadvantage.
What was something that you think had an impact on who you are now?
How did it change you?
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